Obama rebuts ‘death panel’ rumors,
introduces ‘Soylent Green panels’
By Sonni Parchrist, Reporting from the lobby of Forest Lawn Foods Inc.
Soylent Green wafers - yum!
Addressing an angry town hall meeting in Montana, President Obama today denied rumors that his healthcare overhaul would create "death panels" that decide whether sick grandmas should get medical treatment.

"I swear to Allah there are no death panels," the Kenya-born president insisted. "There will only be Soylent Green panels."

Obama described Soylent Green as an "innovative, eco-friendly" program to wipe out world hunger and reduce Social Security expenditures. "Why would anyone oppose that?" he asked.

White House officials said critics of the healthcare bill would receive free tours of a Soylent Green factory in Los Angeles.

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