Prop. 2 supporters propose
new luxuries for farm animals
Ballot measure would require martini bars, satellite TV and maid service in all cages. Also, to underscore the irony of animals having more rights than gays, same-sex varmint marriages would be allowed.
By Will Phillon, Staff Writer
Emboldened by the success of Proposition 2, which mandated better treatment of California farm critters, animal-rights activists are now pushing for other barnyard luxuries, including martini bars, satellite TV, free maid service in all cages, and limousine rides to the slaughterhouse.

Although supporters admit the perks would raise the price of a dozen eggs to $49.95, they say it's worth it.

"Cruelty to farm animals must end now – except for the part about eating them," said Humane Society spokeshuman Susan Davidson.

In the 2008 election, state voters gave farm varmints more rights than gay couples (Prop. 8) and human fetuses (Prop. 4). The new measure would cement that elevated status by allowing same-sex marriages between consenting barnyard animals – and by requiring humans to notify mother hens whenever they eat an egg instead of hatch it.

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