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"Winning isn't fun if the other side is totally incompetent," Democrat says. "My new ads will make the race more competitive."
Meanwhile, Obama promises to boost government spending by allowing Monopoly money to be used as legal tender.
In surprise move, Barack uses his 30-minute infomercial to pitch 'revolutionary' baldness cure.
Publisher Hartenstein subpoenas reporter diaries and grounds entire staff, saying they can't go to Homecoming dance.

New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees to star in "The Secret Life of Brees."

California | Local »

Motorists get around ban on text messaging while driving by sending smoke signals

National »

Joe the Plumber is robbed and beaten by Joe the Mugger

disney park to adopt 1920s theme  
California Adventure makeover will feature bank-run ride and Wall Street suicide jumpers.