Obama-vision eyeglasses:
Yes, we can (lose our minds)
Scientists see odd side effects in some Democrats
By Willie McTell, Staff Writer
Ignoring scientific warnings that Obama-vision eyeglasses may cause Democrats to lose touch with reality, party officials are ordering crateloads of the spectacles for their convention and fall campaign.

"They're magic," said party chairman Howard Dean. "They transform this scrawny, all-flash-no-substance Illinois senator into Gandhi, Jesus and Miley Cyrus rolled into one. Birds sing, music plays, love fills the air. The glasses worked against Hillary and they'll work against McCain."

But a recent Harvard University study found that many Obama-vision wearers suffer serious side effects, including uncontrolled giddiness, delusions that the candidate supports every cause they do, an inability to operate motor vehicles that don't have bumper stickers, and singing "Kumbaya" at inappropriate times.