Obama uses infomercial to tout Joe Bidens Hair Club for Men
Revolutionary chia technology can cure baldness, he says.
By Malcolm Andrews, Staff Writer
In a surprise move, Barack Obama used his 30-minute infomercial to advertise a "revolutionary" new baldness remedy Joe Biden's Hair Club for Men.
"It's time to reject the failed hair restoration policies of the last eight years," Obama said in Wednesday's primetime TV address. "Under an Obama-Biden administration, every American will have a constitutional right to a full, luxurious head of topiary-quality hair."
Obama said recent breakthroughs in "chia technology" made it possible to regrow hair without resorting to surgery, wigs or potions.
"Operators are standing by," he announced. "And if you act now, we'll throw in universal health care coverage for your entire family, a $12,000 value, for just $29.99 plus shipping and handling."