Not the L.A. Times
BP’s latest cleanup plan calls for diverting oil spill to Bermuda Triangle
Bermuda Triangle
They've tried almost everything: containment domes, golf balls, human hair, lulling the oil spill to sleep with Barry Manilow music.

Nothing has worked. As of this morning, the Gulf oil spill had spread to Florida and Texas – and was trying to join Facebook.

Now, British Petroleum has devised a new plan: divert the big slick into the Bermuda Triangle.

"The Devil's Triangle has an excellent track record of making things disappear," said BP boss Tony Wayward. "Airplanes, ships, the continent of Atlantis. I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner."

However, it's unclear how the space aliens who control the Bermuda Triangle will react to BP's plan. If the aliens object, BP officials will recruit Desmond from "Lost" as a fail-safe to destroy the spill.

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