In yet another attempt to juice up the newspaper's relevance to readers' lives, the L.A. Times has started adding economic metaphors to all stories.

The program kicked off
Jan. 2 with a story that began:

The 120-year-old Rose Parade ushered in the new year on a sun-kissed morning in Pasadena with a much-needed injection of optimism and celebration, a powerful antidote in a time of economic turmoil.

David Bulwer-Lytton, the paper's California editor, said, "Sometimes a parade is just a parade. But other times, it's a powerful antidote to the worst stock market decline since 1931."

As the story itself noted, many bystanders "said they hoped the Rose Parade's old-fashioned dose of Americana might provide a fitting beginning to a collective new leaf."

From now on, all Times articles will be written through an economic lens, Bulwer-Lytton said. For example:

• Thick fog rolled into the Southland today, an ominous reminder of the murky financial situation plaguing the U.S. housing and auto industries.

• Israeli warplanes bombed the Gaza Strip on Tuesday, a development eerily reminiscent of the pounding that Americans' 401k accounts have endured in recent weeks.

• Kobe Bryant's game-winning basket served as a welcome respite from precipitous drops in home prices. Many Lakers fans said they hoped the team's come-from-behind victory might inspire a collective new leaf for the nation's economy.