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Suspect in 'water arson' case is described as a white male with blond hair, bushy mustache and giant plastic pockets.
Playful agents left flaming bags of dog poop on doorsteps, placed fake pizza orders and 'tested the effect of bullets' on politicians.
Trial run of world's first nuclear-powered automobile ends in disaster, but driver walks away without a scratch.
Real estate mogul Sam Zell replaces legislature with Magic 8-Ball and orders 15% cutback in state's population.


TOP OF THE TICKET
National Enquirer says paternity test indicates the father of John Edwards' alleged love child is actually Bigfoot.
THE BIG PICTURE

St. John of the Cross

Vatican teams up with Warner Bros. to repackage St. John of the Cross as medieval Batman in "Dark Knight of the Soul."

 
California/Local »
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Optometry college installs bifocal windows

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Newport dock falls to pier pressure

National »
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In surprise move, McCain also chooses Biden as running mate


Report is a sequel to paper's hard-hitting analysis of most popular dog names.
Pierce brosnan concert tour  
Opening for the Jonas Brothers, he stuns audiences with his "Mamma Mia" vocals.

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Mummy McCain ad